The Envelope
by Apo
Summary: One of the affairs mentioned in Ptolemy's Gate. Pg. 35 Footnote. Disclaimer: I don't own the Bartimaeus Trilogy. Please read and review!


**A/N: This is one of a series. I have written two other fics on the same subject. The Anarchist and the Oyster and The Affair of the Curiously Heavy Trunk. These are mentioned in a footnote in Ptolemy's Gate, Pg. 35. Please R&R! Thanks!**

Rupert Devereaux called up John Mandrake

"Mandrake! Get over here! I need your help! This is urgent!" Devereaux shouted into the phone.

"Isn't Farrar available?" Mandrake asked hopefully.

"No, she has more important business."

"Where would you like me to go?" Mandrake sighed.

Devereaux gave him the coordinates and hung up. Mandrake was supposed to summon a strong and intelligent djinni.

-- -- -- --

I was floating around in the Other Place when someone summoned me. I took the form of no particular thing at all. It was a combination of all frightening things I could think of. It was Mandrake. He didn't bat an eyelash. Most likely cause he was used to seeing it. In the mirror.

"Bartimaeus, please refrain from using that guise. We have a job to do, and I would like to do it," Mandrake said.

"And you summoned me?"

"I was debating between you and another demon."

"Sure. Don't worry, I believe you," I winked.

Mandrake's eyes widened. "There was," he protested.

"Yeah, ok," I said chuckling.

"Just go," he demanded. He gave me the coordinates and I was off with a poof. A couple hours later (note my exaggeration here) Mandrake arrived.

"You certainly took your time," I said.

He ignored me. He walked up to the fool they called a Prime Minister.

"What is it sir? I will do anything for you. Just tell me what it is, and I will order my strong djinni to do it for you," Mandrake said. What a suck up.

"I continue to lick this envelope, but it just won't stick! I need your demon to glue it for me!" Devereaux exclaimed.

I walked up to it and looked at it. It was a regular envelope. I prepared to put some sticky stuff (I will decline to say what) when the floor managed to collapse under Mandrake and me. Stuff flew out of my hand straight at Mandrake. I plummeted down.

-- -- -- --

Mandrake cringed as the object hit him. He was glued to the wall. Well, actually his hand was glued to the wall. His body was dangling. Bartimaeus floated up and grinned.

"Get me out of here!" Mandrake shouted at Bartimaeus.

"Yes, sir. My stuff is particularly strong though. There is a chance that you will be stuck here forever," Bartimaeus gasped.

"That's my part," Mandrake said.

"Right mate, go ahead and gasp."

"Just get me down."

"Alright mate. Just warning, my detonation might blow your hand off. No worries."

Mandrake sputtered protest as Bartimaeus raised his hand. A thin green ray headed for his hand.

-- -- -- --

I shot the detonation at his hand and he dropped like a stone. I dropped down and grabbed him. He must've weighed a ton! Even I had trouble carrying him.

"How much do you weigh?" I grunted.

"I will not dignify that with a response."

As I attempted to bring Mandrake up, Devereaux shouted down.

"Demon? Hurry up! I'm hungry! The letter is addressed to the Bakery!" he shouted.

"Why didn't you tell me? That's very important!" I shouted sarcastically.

He didn't understand my sarcasm.

"Well, Mandrake this proves looks are deceiving, where in your case I assumed you conscience was as ugly as your face! But you weigh a lot more than I expected! I still believe you're pretty ugly though," I chuckled to myself.

"HURRY UP BARTIMAEUS!" he shouted.

Water hit my face. It wasn't raining if you catch my drift. I dragged him up and dropped him on solid floor. I proceed to glue the stupid Bakery letter and waited for my dismissal.

-- -- -- --

Mandrake glared at Bartimaeus.

"Oi, Mandrake, I saved your life! A thank you?" Bartimaeus asked. Bartimaeus brought his voice up a pitch. "Thank you Bartimaeus for saving me, even though Atlas would have trouble carrying me, you did it. You're the bravest _spirit_ I know!"

"I won't dismiss you," Mandrake threatened. That shut him up. Mandrake spoke the words of dismissal and Bartimaeus misted away. Before he was fully gone he made one last remark.

"Bye-bye Fatdrake!"

Mandrake scowled and walked away.


End file.
